when I was a child and young America is like moon.Only the blessed would born there or go there.Whenever Sarada aunty comes from "Fhoren'(Foriegn) we children stare her with admiration as if she just landed from heaven.her wristwatch ( which is a rare commodity for many indians) ,her 644 foriegn silk saries, her big suitecase everything is a piece of exibition. "Oh they don't get mirchi and Rai over there!" We wonder how people can live? Her children never spoke Telugu which I admired.Their Enlish with accent is like tilting instrumental music in my ears. Ever since I nourished a dream that i should live in a place where people,language,climate,food everything are alien. I wanted to live in a farthest place possible far from this "madind crowd who allways poke at others life,these muddy roads, mosquitoes,low voltage energy ever ending slogan "GareebiHatao". I was so dismissive never sentimental never spoke high of my country"s rich culture or past.If anybody talked high of India and sarcastic about the life and human relations of abroad I loathed.
But in those days it is only few blessed who could make to Foriegn. Mainly scientists,few engineers and Doctors.So i despised my life for not allowing me to go over there and I hated my self for not able to fight for the things I wanted.
Married to a man of Gove service it was a unfullfilled dream which i could never persue.Still not giving up my hope I tried to persue my husband to take up a job in America or atleast in Europe. He gave me stern look and added with a voice colder than ice " You can choose your friends but not your parents. I donont want to be a second rate citizen in a country however prosperous and developed it is" I sulked for three days To increase my misery the maid and cook were absent. Troubling with one year old child and workload I found it so irritable to see my neighbour. But seeing me in such hopeless condition she said in a smooth voice " Don't worry I will send the Sambhar you just cook rice." Prbably first time in my life I felt this country is not that bad to live.
Now I have sent my daughter to America . Now America is second home for me. In my first visit I was enthralled by its developement,displine,time sense,hardworking nature,and down to earth attitude.. I enjoyed my long walks on clean but deserted roads, I loved spic and span houses, orderly traffic,water plenty and clean, no powercuts,the food rich and healthy, the life with full of spirit and enthusiasm. Wonder where have gone my arthritis and broanchoital problems!
After my first visit I never wanted to get back.., On my second I felt miserable for my country for not achieveing 1/4th of what these people have even after sixtyyears of independence, My third one was boring.Now I feel home sick. I donot know whether it is because I think differently or just for years I got used to aparticular way of life.No doubt we donot have half the comforts what these people enjoy,But we have people for every occassion , we donot e-mail or take appointment from the person stays just in front of our house.Our children need not have playdates to engage themselves. The colonies never deserted ,the neighbours ever helping.
Amidst my daughter's large luxorious house with all the modern fecilities I remembered the uncontrolable and indiciplined traffic,mosquitoes,those horrible hornhonks,loud loud speakers,the pollution-but everything seemed wonderfull much closed to heart. I miss my movies,petty T.V shows,biased news papers,crowded roads,gorgeous and colurfull weddings,soulfulmournings above all my people who are happy with meagre salaries,with smal things,little comforts, crookrd politicians, and countlessGods.
America is good But the life is like calander.Day and dates change-no soul. I remember my husband's words. May be I choose my parents in my next birth.
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3 comments:
I am so glad mom you are writing. And I can see you improving from post to post. I enjoy reading your posts for that gives me an insight into what you feel and think.
I agree with what you say in this post. I love to travel, as you very well know. But somehow after about 10 days or so I just want to get back home, to Hyderabad. I guess it is the call of the familiar that makes one yearn for something called home. Now, I probably understand better why ammama used to want to go back to Eluru all the time :)
I can relate to everything that is said in your post..
The sad thing is that its just not the people who visit this place every two years who feel this solitude but even the ones (like yours truly) who have called this country home feel the same.
But some times we are where we are and we have to make the best of what we have :-)
And as with any choice, you gain some things, you lose some. There are many things that are possible in America that are not possible in any other country on earth, a perspective I have gained only by living here.
On my browsing spree tonight, I happened to park by your blog and I thoroughly enjoyed this post of yours!
I guess I kind of relate to your thoughts about the foreign land...and I was smiling through when you mentioned that the uncontrolable and indiciplined traffic, mosquitoes,the pollution-but everything seemed wonderful much closed to heart....
Overall I had a nice time reading through...Thanks for this insight :)
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